Someday I Will Too
by BellarkeShipsItself
Summary: 'I'm helping you.' She murmured still not turning to him. 'How exactly' 'By not allowing you to break down.' R&R please!Hope you like it!
1. Chapter 1

Someday I will Too

Chapter 1

For my help -HaydenCalvin

Something was wrong. Why wouldn't he talk. She hadn't tried to talk to him, everytime would ask someone to find out. No one had achieved so she decided to man up and do the dirty work.

'Bellamy ?' She entered his tent even though she was scared her eyes would burn if there was something she didn't want to see.

'Nobody's allowed to enter' Bellamy said in a low voice but when he saw it was Clarke, just rolled his eyes and started preparing himself for bed.

'What's going on with you lately?'

'Nothing in particular, why?'

'Bellamy, you can tell me.'

His eyes couldn't believe. So it was her idea to make people go and ask him all those stupid questions.

'Why are you so persistent ,princess? Can't find anyone else to heal?'

'Don't do this. I came here not to fight , but to ask you how you feel?'

'Wasn't I crystal clear that I was fine?'

She wasn't kidding. And this was beginning to upset her. Not because of his attitude but because of his feelings. He wasn't at peace with himself. He was punishing himself for something and she knew she had to heal whatever wound had found its place in his heart. He wasn't his usual self. Even the lines he used weren't strong enough to offend her. He was losing it slowly and the most terrifying thing was that he was dealing with his demons on his own. He wasn't arguing with anyone , he was nothing. She knew he felt like that.

'Bellamy, I'm here. Okay?' She came closer. Then she stopped, fearing it would just stress the situation.

'I know, I see you.' He said taking his shirt off and laying on his bed.

She couldn't fight him like that so she decided to do it in more drastic way. She kneeled down and slowly slipped under his blanket.

'Clarke, what the hell?' He jerked back.

'You are going to tell me what's bothering you, I'm not leaving this bed, nor am I leaving you to sleep. We can stare at each other like idiots all night, but no other girl is entering this tent before you tell me.' She found his hand under the coverlet and gently started caressing it.

'I care.' Was the only thing she was able to say.' I do fucking care, you selfish bastard. Just let me help. What' s so wrong in that?' Her eyes were pleading again.

Not that look. He didn't want to see it again. It was one of her "tell-me-i-am-wrong-and-i-will-leave-you-alone" looks, to which he just couldn't bring himself to lie to.

It was stressing. Nobody had ever cared about him except for his sister. He stared at her, eyes not able to blink not even once. He fought it. Fought the feeling . He didn't know what was happening with him. He just felt …

'Hopeless' And scared, and useless, and small but nothing of these came out of his mouth.

'You feel hopeless?' She asked carefully.

'It's stupid.'

'It's not stupid. Don't think for one second that any of this is stupid. Just tell me what's wrong.'

'I . can't .tell . you .. i've no idea. STOP'-He shouted the last word but then his voice changed into a low whispering. ' Questioning me , okay?'

She knew by this moment that he really didn't know what was going on with him. As she had thought, he was lost. He just needed to ask for help. But ,of course, this was Bellamy the Rebel Prince, he would never do such thing. It was low of him.

'Okay.' She whispered before laying fully on the bed turning her back at him.

'Why are you doing this?' His voice was weak, he felt weak beside her. He didn't like that feeling. He should be strong and … it shouldn't be like that.

'I'm helping you.' She murmured still not turning to him.

'How exactly?'

'By not allowing you to break down.'

He should've known better . He would never cry in front of her. And that was her, here , reading him like an open book. Taking every single morbid thought out of his soul. Replacing every unshed tear with gentle stroking on his hand. Her finger almost touching his for longer than a few seconds. He was beginning to relax under her touch. Soon he fell into the world of dreams.

The last thing she heard before hearing his even breathing, was 'Someday , princess , I'll do the same for you'


	2. Chapter 2

Someday I will Too

A Walk In The Woods

Chapter 2

She wanted to say something. She wanted to move. She just couldn't. She kept her gaze at him. At his peaceful face, at his even breathing. He looked so calm. He looked like a teenager. Carefree and full of energy . And all this, moments before he woke up. When he opened his eyes, suddenly every part of him grew 10 times older. The worry that had kept him awake so many nights was there again and his hands were shaking. She felt the urge to do something she wasn't supposed to do. He wasn't a friend. He was an ally and that was all. Right ? She wasn't sure anymore. Something in her was changing and all she wanted was to stay there all day. So no one could see them and no one would ask questions. No one would bother them. She kind of wanted him get back to his old self. Rude and arrogant. Weakness wasn't looking good on him. His unsure voice woke her from her daydream.

'What are you doing here, princess ?'

'Sorry, I'm leaving.' Her walls were up again. She decided not to give into the strange feeling in her stomach caused by him calling her princess. Was she enjoying this nickname? Especially from him? She had yet to discover all this.

'I didn't say leave, did I ? I simply asked you a question.'

'I was leaving anyway, stayed here too long . Got work to do.'

'Okay' He wasn't sure what to say in response. 'I'll be outside in a minute too.'

'It's fine, rest a bit more. I can manage running for a while.'

What was that? Was she actually telling him to rest? Did she care? So many questions were flying through his head that he actually lost the count.

'No, I'm awake, so I'm not wasting anymore time.'

There was something in his voice. In the sentence he had just said. Awake and not wasting his time anymore. Or at least he was hoping she would notice. She seemed to, but he wasn't sure so they unlocked gazes and continued their work.

The weather was playing with them. One moment the sun was shining , the other, furious wind was trying to kill someone. They weren't sure why, but winter was coming so it was a possible reason.

'Octavia , please, can you come for a second?' Clarke called from the other side of the camp.

Octavia who was trying to find something to do, jumped and ran as fast as she could to Clarke.

'Tell me you have something for me.'

'You want to go for water?'

'Yes !.. Wait, alone?'

'No, with me of course. I'm sorry if you want to spend some time alone, but I'm not allowed to let you go anywhere by yourself. I hope you understand ..'

'I'm over that, really. I was mad, I admit. Still am.'

' I'll try to be as quiet as possible.'

'No, no, that's not what I meant. Come, I'm in a mood to spill secrets.' She winked at Clarke and took two buckets. Clarke did the same and followed her.

As they were leaving Bellamy noticed immediately .

'Wait, wait! Where are you going?'His question was directed at Octavia.

'Going for water. With Clarke, is that a problem?'

'It's windy, you're not sure what the weather has prepared for today.'

'Even the weather isn't sure of what is going to bring us, so we better get some water before people start to complain. I don't want another fight between them.'

He stared at Clarke unsure.

'She'll be fine, Bellamy. I'm not going to let anything happen to her,'

He wanted to say the same for it would sound strange. As if he he didn't, right?

'Okay, thank you' Was all he said before hugging his sister and slowly waking away turning around one more time. 'Both look after each other, okay?'

'So , what did you want to talk about?'

'I will use my time with you to talk about someone you don't want to hear about. Not because I want to talk to you about him, but because I want to share my problem with you.'

'Okay?' Clarke was wondering what was going on . Octavia was not the one to talk much. Plus, she had latched onto her and had accepted her as a sister or a mother, Clarke didn't know . But she didn't want to ruin this for her. Octavia was a good girl. She needed support, and Clarke was going to give it to her.

'My brother.'

Clarke took a deep breath. She should've seen it coming. Duh .

'What about him?'

'I want to know something . Am I the guilty one for our mom's floating?'

'Why would you think that?'

'Well, it's either mine or Bellamy's. And I'm blaming him, he's blaming me. I know he doesn't mean it. I saw him last night. He was looking awful. He was staring at the sky. Talking to mom. I heard him. It was just before he went to bed. He was asking her questions and answering to himself. He was crying.' Octavia's voice cracked. 'I never wanted this. He's such a good brother'

Clarke felt the strange urge to ask a question she shouldn't be asking.

'Tell me about him?'

'About Bellamy?' Octavia looked a bit taken aback.

'About your childhood in general.' Clarke managed to cover herself .

'Oh, well, that's a long story , but as we have a long road to go, I guess I can tell you a bit. Tell me to stop when you get annoyed. I can talk about this for hours.'

'I'll tell you' Clarke smiled.

'Our father died 1 month before our mother found out she was pregnant with me. She decided to keep me as a memory left to her from dad. Bellamy is 22 years old so it means he was 6 years old when mom gave birth to me. Bellamy named me. From what I have heard , right after that she had been really tired and fell asleep. From that moment Bellamy had promised not to let anything happen to me.'

Clarke was listening, taking every bit of information and keeping it save in her head.

'So, from then, my earliest memories are the ones when we were playing 'A pony ride' in our room. Mom would sew and Bellamy would take me through the jungle and through the forest . Of course , imaginary places I craved to see .'

'Pony rides, really?' Clarke wasn't doing a good job containing her laughter.

'Seriously, when I tell you I have the most adorable brother in the world, you have to believe me!'

Clarke was laughing right now. The image wouldn't leave her mind. It really was adorable.

'I would've never imagined him like that.'

'You should've seen him making those weird faces when I first asked him what a French kiss was . I had heard it from inside the room from a few kids running down the corridors.'

'How did he explain it to you?'

'I was 10, he just said that I would find out when I grow up. Then told me to shut up and go to sleep . Way to make my curiosity go away'

'I'm sure of it.' Said Clarke wiping a tear from her eye.

'I don't know … seriously , he's done everything for me. I've always wanted more and more. I'm just selfish.'

'No , Octavia, you're not selfish. You were just a kid, you still are. Hell, we all are. We must be curious . It wasn't your fault that your mother kept you, neither was your brother's. Nor your mother's. You're a miracle. Your father disappeared , you appeared on his place. You're not a burden. You're lucky to have someone who would kill for you. He would go through the woods just to save you. And he wouldn't regret it , because it would be worth it if it meant you would be safe again. When we get back, I need you to do something for me.'

'What?'

'Go to him and apologize for all that you said to him. Be his support. He needs you.'

'Clarke … Were you in your tent last night ?'

Clarke felt her face starting to burn.

' Why?'

'I think I heard Bellamy talking to someone, I figured it would be you. Cause you know… it didn't sound as if he was with a girl. You know what I mean.'

'I know, yeah'

So?.. Was it you?'

'… Yeah I tried to talk to him, but I didn't do a good job on finding what was up with him.'

'Mad at me.'

'Okay then, you can go and tell him what I told you. I think you should listen to me when I say something. I'm not always right, but when I'm sure , I'm sure.'

'Just like when you said that there was hope for Jasper.'

'Just like then.'

When they returned the weather hadn't change a lot, the wind was a bit stronger but it was fine. Octavia put the buckets full of water on the ground, and so did Clarke. Then Octavia got closer to her and pulled her in a warm embrace whispering 'Thank you' in her ear'.

Bellamy saw that. After that he was attacked by his cheerful sister who dragged him to a private place claiming she wanted to make things right. He shot one last look at Clarke who just smiled and turned away.

He followed his sister sure that their conversation would end well, and all this thanks to one particular princess.


	3. Chapter 3

Someday I Will Too

Chapter 3

These days had been rough on them. Octavia got kidnapped and Finn was stabbed. Everything had turned upside down. Bellamy had brought the grounder in the drop ship and tortured him, but no word came out of the bastard's mouth. In the end Octavia had decided to recklessly hurt herself so he would tell her which of the little bottles was the antidote for Finn's poisoning.

Clarke tried to apologize to her but she wouldn't listen. The feelings of hatred towards Clarke had returned ._They_ had returned back to the start.

Clarke wasn't really interested in following Octavia around trying to explain her own decisions to someone who wasn't interested in listening to her. She had given up on trying. It was time for Octavia to grow up and man up. To realize that sometimes people do whatever the hell was necessary to survive.

Clarke was determined to make her see that.

'Octavia' She called her name before she climbed to the third floor of the drop ship.

She was there, with the grounder. She was putting something on him. He was shaking .

'What do you want?'She asked not turning around.

'Look, seriously ,I've tried to apologize to you million times already. The least you could do is to listen to what I have to say.'

'And why would I do that?'Octavia asked using her brother's line

Clarke wasn't surprised. As much as Octavia was trying to be different, she looked up to her brother and sometimes even tried to act like him. The problem was it didn't suit her.

'I'll tell you why. Most of the people here are either afraid of him or want him dead. I'm probably the only one who's trying to understand him and I know it's hard for him to accept it, but I'm at your side right now. Please, if you could explain to him this in a way that he could understand.'

'He under-'

'I know he does. He just doesn't want to listen to the others. So this is my proposition. Make him listen.'

'He's been through enough, don't you think? Because of you. Because of you my brother did all this. I don't understand his reasons, but I sure don't like them.'

'Yes, I admit, it was my fault. And now I will have to live with it. You don't get to put this on your brother.'

'WHAT? You seriously just said that!..Clarke, my brother destroyed him. After all he did for me. After he saved my life.'

Octavia was pushing it. Clarke wasn't the one to defend Bellamy because she knew best that he wasn't an angel.

'And what, Bellamy did nothing for you?'She raised an eyebrow.

Octavia opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. She knew it wasn't like that. Her brother would do anything for her. And he had proven it so many times. She just didn't want to accept that the grounder was going to be blamed for saving her.

'That's what I though'

'Don't act like you know me, Clarke, because you don't…I have been living under the floor for 16 years. I don't know what real life is. I'm learning to understand life. But what my brother did..The shooting ,the torturing…this isn't him. Even if it was for me. I didn't ask for any of this.'

'Yes, I asked for the torturing. But he didn't do it only for me. Damn it ,Octavia, he did it for Finn and all the other that lost their lives. Why is it so hard for you to believe that?'

'Because Bellamy doesn't care about anyone else!'

That was harsh. Clarke felt her teeth grit. She knew that wasn't right. Especially coming from Octavia's mouth.

'You don't mean that' She told her unable to believe what she had just heard.

'Oh but I do. Have you seen my brother, Clarke? He only cares about himself. And me, occasionally. I know him better, I've lived with him.'

'You must be really confused then.'

'Why do you think so?'

'Well ,for starters, remember how last week you decided to tell me the story of the Blake's? From what I heard back then, Bellamy is nothing but a loving brother to you. What changed?'

'I let you see the bright side of him.'

'Okay…now you see I have a dark side too. News flash, we all have dark sides, some of us are just better at hiding them. Your brother's not an angel. We all know that, but if you think I will let you blame him for everything that's happened, you're so wrong.'

'I don't know what you've done to him to make him listen to every word you say..'

Clarke knew there was nothing else to be said. Octavia would just keep repeating what she knows. It wasn't worth the time.

'One thing. Appreciate your brother.'

Octavia didn't say anything. She just looked at the grounder. He had been watching her the whole time. She smiled weakly at him and sat down with her hand in her hair.

It was raining again. Why would anyone be surprised. Winter was approaching and faster than they thought.

Clarke was trying to fix a guy's leg when Bellamy entered the drop ship. The first floor had been their medical room.

'What happened this time?'The question wasn't for Clarke, it was for the boy ,who at this point was screaming from pain.

'I-uh...tried to..ugh!'He couldn't speak, the tears from his eyes were falling like a waterfall.

He must be around 14 years old.

'He was stupid enough to climb on a tree to see outside the camp.' Clarke said in a harsh tone. The kid just gulped and closed his eyes again.

'Don't do It again. Next time she won't be in a mood to fix you.'

The kid was left there to rest after Clarke finished. She headed to the exit but was quickly stopped by Bellamy.

'Where do you think you're going?'

'I'm taking a walk. Why, is that a problem?'

'No ,it's just …wait, outside camp?'

'Yes.'

'Then yes, it's a problem. Seriously Clarke, don't make me think about you too.'

That's when she realized he was still holding her by the shoulder.

She jerked back to remove his hand.

'Think about me, why?'

'You wanna go missing too?'

'I need rest, and I am capable of taking care of myself, unlike your sister.' The last three words she whispered while leaving .

He ran to her again.

'Unlike my sister? Why do you involve Octavia in this?'

'I need rest, okay? This here' She opened her hands to point. 'Is driving me insane.'

'Okay, but don't go out of the camp! Clarke!' He yelled after her but she wasn't listening.

Something was up so he decided to go and ask his sister.

'Octavia! What's going on with Clarke?'

'I don't know, why are you asking me?'She tried her best not to stutter.

'I don't know , probably because she mentioned something about you before storming out.'

'What about me?'

'It doesn't matter, will you tell me what happened between you two?'

'Nothing happened, she was being annoying as always.'

Those weren't words Octavia would use for Clarke. She liked her.

'This isn't the new Octavia talking, explain what change.'

'Nothing , Bellamy..nothing.'

'Saying it's nothing won't change the fact that it's not nothing.'

'She..tried to help me. I was being the prick this time.'

'Okay?'

'She told me that she wanted to make him understand her intentions weren't bad. That almost everyone here wanted him dead and she was our only ally. I was so mad I started the fight. I told her some horrible things..about her being the main person to blame and that she had done something to make you listen to every word she said..I know…I know it's not right..She ..de-defended you when I was spitting poison at your direction…I'm sorry ,Bell.. I never meant to…I was just mad. Please…just don't hate me..But you have to understand that I care about him. And I don't want you to hurt him. That's all.' She was crying now. The same tears as if she was still a little girl. He decided to ignore the last things she had said and turned around to climb down the ladder.

The rain hadn't slowed down. He wondered if she had actually listened to him and had stayed in the camp. He started looking around.

'I'm here.' He heard her weak voice still trying to sound strong.

'What's going on ,Princess?'This time she couldn't help but notice how soft his voice was.' You can tell me.'

' I'm not sure, Bellamy. I'm trying so hard to keep everything around me under control, but somehow it's not working. Nothing's working…'

He came closer and pulled her with him so the rain would stop soaking them.

'Tell me'

'Octavia hates me. That grounder isn't helping either. Finn is trying to walk and it's only been a few days ,which means he should be resting. Raven is trying to keep him down but he resist. No one is helping us. The camp is still a mess. I am a mess.' She was the one shaking this time.

'Hey, hey, hey, stop it now. Okay? I told you everything was going to be fine, no?'

'You weren't right..'

'It doesn't happen so fast, Clarke. It takes time. People are still coping from the storm. Finn is probably feeling like he would do another space walk after laying so many days. And Octavia doesn't hate you. She told me what happened. She feels sorry and admitted being the prick this time' He smiled at her.

And something in his smile made her heart stop for a second. Then start beating with the speed of light. It was something so unexpected from him.

Then she realized. He was doing the same for her.

He was helping her by not letting her break down.

Her hands found its place on his shoulders and she slowly embraced him.

That was her 'thank you'

He knew. They would always do this.

Not letting each other crash into million pieces.


End file.
